We've been waiting... we've always been waiting


Heidi, a radio DJ, is sent a box containing a record - a "gift from the Lords". The sounds within the grooves trigger flashbacks of her town's violent past. Is Heidi going mad, or are the Lords back to take revenge on Salem, Massachusetts?

The Lords of Salem is the latest film by industrial rocker-turned-auteur Rob Zombie, and I think it's a good'un, although it's already polarizing people.
Sheri Moon Zombie (Rob's wife who features heavily in all of his movies, though this is her first star turn) is Heidi, a recovering addict and local rock DJ in Salem, Massachusetts, site of the infamous witch trials of 1692. She receives a vinyl record in a wooden box from a band apparently called The Lords, who later on also inform the station that they are performing a one-off gig in the town. Upon playing the record at home however, Heidi experiences migraines and hallucinations of a 17th century coven, performing some manner of birthing ritual, apparently attempting to bring Satan himself to mortal life. Her male DJ colleagues simply experience the tune as a weird, rather turgid dirge (although it'll stick with you like a demonic earworm) and play it over the air on their rock show, where it acts as a sort of trance-inducing spell on many of the women listening. From there on in, Heidi's mental state begins to deteriorate and the migraines/hallucinations increase, not helped by her return to drugs or by her peculiar landlady and her two friends, all of whom seem creepily interested in Heidi and what her "fate" might be. Her "fate" as it turns out is attending this Lords gig, except that in many ways, it's really HER gig. And what's happening with that supposedly vacant room at the end of the hall? I'll go no further, partly because to do so would be to give too much away, but mostly because to try to explain it would be futile. You need to see it.
The Lords of Salem is, for much of its runtime, Rob Zombie's most restrained feature film. It can move pretty slowly most of the way through, although thanks to Mrs. Zombie's best on-screen work to date and some great supporting performances throughout, particularly from Dee Wallace, Judy Geeson and Bruce Davison, those slow moments are largely spent getting to know and like our protagonists (or of course, become ever more unnerved by our antagonists). However, it's the sections where The Lords of Salem lets rip - including a finale that takes an absolute swan-dive off of the cliffs of tangible reality into the seas of utter lunacy - that are dividing opinion. Rather than a balls-to-the-floor gore flick, what we have here is a retro-heavy European art-horror piece, akin to any of Dario Argento's more hallucinatory efforts. The imagery is incredibly striking and bold, and very much as you'd expect from Mr. Zombie, if you're aware of his previous work (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects - neither of which I thought were particularly good, although I may revisit Rejects at some point soon - the 2007 remake of Halloween and its 2009 sequel - both of which I really enjoyed), but because of that retro restraint that same imagery also rides a very fine line between bold and laughable depending I guess on whether you're able to buy into those arthouse horror stylings or you're not, and find yourself pulled out of the movie. The low budget (I've seen figures between $1.5m and $2.5m punted about) isn't an issue until some of the more ambitious special effects present themselves, but if you're not "feeling it" at that point, you're not going to. Personally, I like a film that has some scenes that aren't necessarily explained away by a perfunctory, realistic narrative, I like a film - especially a horror - to adopt a retro vibe from time to time, as long as they're done well (which this is), and I love a bit of witchcraftery and devilishness. The Lords of Salem reminded me in many of ways of Ti West's excellent slow-burn retro creeper The House of the Devil, but with added... well, with added Rob Zombieness, I suppose!
Recommended, although many will find it objectionably bad.

IM Global, Alliance Films, Blumhouse Productions, Automatik Entertainment, Haunted Movies by Rob Zombie.
Stars: Sheri Moon Zombie, Meg Foster, Bruce Davison.

Genres: Horror, Thriller

Keywords: witch sadistic radio station satanism sadism heavy metal music salem, massachusetts death witchcraft evil occult campfire coven (akelarre) screaming wickedness


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