Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

Darkness rises... and light to meet it

https://www.starwars.com/films/star-wars-episode-viii-the-last-jedi

Rey develops her newly discovered abilities with the guidance of Luke Skywalker, who is unsettled by the strength of her powers. Meanwhile, the Resistance prepares to do battle with the First Order.

I got so high before going in to see "The Last Jedi" it's a wonder I figured out how to get into the theater. We started rocking the shatter bong hardcore, just pump it, pump it, till you can actually feel your brain melting, then hit that nail and do it again and again. At some point somebody asked the question "where are we?" and while I was reflecting philosophically on the matter, somebody else pointed out that we were parked in a lot by the cineplex and we slowly realized that we were here to see 'The Last Jedi'! I could barely function at all, so I went to my old go-to routine of donning dark glasses and a white cane to help disguise my complete stonification by pretending I was just some poor blind guy stumbling around and knocking things over. I usually do this to get past security at rock concerts and it never crossed my mind that a blind guy wouldn't be able to see a movie in the first place, but it worked anyway and soon enough we were in our seats. There were these fucking kids sitting right behind us and they kept kicking my seat like little retards, kicking, kicking, kicking.... so I took the lid off my extra-large Coke and just tossed it over my shoulder. Bingo! Direct hit! The little creeps shuffled off all pissed and whining, covered in sticky cola, us laughing at them, calling them losers, it was great!
Then the movie started. The sound was awesome and everything but the screen was pretty freakin' dark I thought, could hardly make out anything. I started chanting "Turn up the brightness! Turn up the brightness!", expecting the rest of the audience to join in to my righteous chant of outrage, but then I realized I still had my Blind Guy Glasses on. Took 'em off and yup, cleared right up. There was some kind of big space battle going on so we took out our vape pens and started hoofing back lungfuls of sweet sweet shatter vapor. My girlfriend started texting me, bitching at me to pick her up some vag pads on the way home. WTF?? Get up off your fat ass and get 'em yourself I texted back. A barrage of bitchtexts followed, I was a jerk, I was an asshole and bla bla bla... I took a picture of my bare ass and sent it to her as a reply, fuckin bitch, anyway, apparently, this was considered 'indecent exposure' according to the usher-dork who wouldn't shut up about it so we had to leave the movie. We saw those stupid kids in the lobby as we were being escorted out, laughing at US, calling US 'losers'... I wanted to get back at them when they came out, even formed this elaborate plan where we would swoop down on them and soak them with freezing water this time, but we ended up just getting high again then went to Burger King.

Lucasfilm, Ram Bergman Productions, Walt Disney Pictures by Rian Johnson, George Lucas.
Stars: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi

Keywords: bunker space battle failure defeat sequel good vs evil imax space opera stormtrooper military operation

12/13/2017

Streaming Services

Hulu

Watch thousands of shows and movies. HBO®, SHOWTIME®, CINEMAX® and STARZ® are also available as add-ons. Starting at USD 5.99 / month and is a steal when we compare the streaming quality and the variety of services on offer. Hulu is gaining traction all over the world. In case you are not from the USA and still want to use Hulu to watch than using a decent VPN is one option that you must explore.

Youtube TV

Priced at USD 44.99 most of the significant channels are available on this app. Its a Google product hence the streaming quality under every kind of internet connection is just flawless. They are after-all the market leaders of online videos and live stream. Remember this is also a bundled service and provides for many good entertainment channels. Its a very reliable service, and people residing outside the USA should check for the availability of the channel in their country. If its not available then using a decent VPN service is the best bet.

PlayStation VUE

Priced at USD 44.99 per month. PlayStation Vue is all action and no nonsense streaming option out there. It provides an extraordinary live TV streaming experience. It is currently only available in the USA. In case you still want to use it a descent VPN service is recommended.

VPN Services

We have got solutions for you where you can use VPN’s to have access to the channels using your streaming service. Though you may find tons of VPN brands over the Internet, choosing the correct one can become difficult.

We have picked the best VPN brand for you so that you can peacefully watch sports from your home’s comfort.

ExpressVPN

We recommend using ExpressVPN to easily access a variety of channels anonymously and securely. ExpressVPN offer blazing-fast VPN speeds to watch on all devices, the best-in-class privacy protection and unlimited premium bandwidth. Get ExpressVPN now for 49% off their 12-month package at only $6.67/month and watch your favorite movies, shows and live streams!

  • Bypass geo-restrictions to access: Netflix, Hulu, HBO NOW, BBC iPlayer, iTV, Sky Go (Italy), Rai TV, Crackle, Showtime, Sling TV, FX, NBC, ABC, and more
  • The only provider that unblocks Netflix not just on the VPN, but also using SmartDNS on non VPN–compatible devices such as: Apple TV, PlayStation, Xbox, and smart TVs
  • Unconditional 30-day money-back guarantee